Urine Idiot!

Today, I actually said to someone "If worse comes to worse" instead of "If push comes to shove" or "worst case scenario". I've been doing that a LOT lately, just totally screwing up or combining cliche phrases. A few favorites are "Half of one, six-dozen of another" instead of "Six of one, half-dozen of another" and "Let's start at ground one" combining "Back to square one" and "ground zero" and maybe even "start at the top". Sometimes I make no sense at all, but I think people know what I mean and refrain from correcting me just to be nice. Or they think I'm a brilliant innovator in phrase turning, like Fergie from the Black eyed peas, who recently made up the word "pronunciated", a combillection of "pronounce" and "enunciate." Combillection? See. I can do it too!

There's got to be a term for my recent word problems. For instance, there are malapropisms, which means using the wrong, but similar sounding, word. Kinda like george McFly saying "You are my density." Then there are spoonerisms, which involve transposition of the initial sounds of two words in a phrase, such as "Hake a Tike" or "Deed the fog". Unfortunately, I do this way too much as well, but it's not what I'm looking for. Hmmm...There are Tom Swifties, where an adverb punnily describes something someone says. For instance, "My doctor had to remove my left ventricle" said Tom half-heartedly. Hmmm... solecisms, or incorrect grammar usage... that ain't it. ;)

Oh well, I suppose you could just say I've been mixing metaphors, but that would be like taking candy from the horse's mouth.